Unfortunately, nowadays many young people are engaging in premarital sex, which results in premature aging. So many young people are so old and worn out even before they reach middle age (50). At middle age, one should have the vigor to strive strenuously for spiritual knowledge and experience. But this is not possible if one is burned out by too much sex, excitement, overeating, and over-entertainment. If this poor lifestyle begins when a person is just a teenager or young adult, it can become a lifelong habit of self-indulgence and self-abuse.
Bad habits are the result of repeating mistakes. If we make a mistake and learn from it, we can change for the better. The more we learn and grow, the fewer mistakes we will make. “Mistakes” means wrong choices. When our choices (and decision-making process) are guided by commonsense and by the wisdom of those who know better than us, we will make fewer and fewer bad decisions.
The Wise know better than we do because they have practiced longer. It’s as simple as that. We are NOT wise if we know better but do not DO better.
Most people know intuitively that premature sex is just not right or healthy. This knowledge has nothing to do with religion; it has to do with who we really are. The knowledge of who we really are, what we really are, is called Dharma.
Our Dharma, the knowledge of our own real nature, compels us to do what is right. Of course, if we have gone against our Dharma, again and again, it may become our habit to do what is wrong. Then the forces of good and evil will fight for supremacy in the battlefield of our mind, and we will feel much distressed.
Young people should devote their time and energy to learning and growing, to building a strong foundation (in body, mind, and spirit). The time for married life will come soon enough, and one can enjoy the conjugal bliss without any remiss. The married life is only for those who have prepared themselves—because married life is not a child’s play; it’s hard work, dedication, unbreakable commitment, and lot’s of love without expectation.
When people have premature sex they are likely to lose their balance even before they have learned what balance is! Marriage is a balancing act, and a sexual relationship before marriage is a dysfunctional act that leads to a dysfunctional life. We are dysfunctional if we haven’t learned how to be self-contained, whole, complete human beings without any emotional or sexual strings attached. In other words, if we have emotional or sexual conditions for personal fulfillment, we are confused human beings. If this is the case, we are in need of wisdom and training in the laws of Consciousness. The laws of Consciousness, the Soul-knowledge, tells us that we are not dependent on anything outside of our self for happiness and fulfillment. Of course, this same Soul-knowledge tells us that we are, at the core of our being, all the same Consciousness. Each and every soul is permeated by that same Supreme Consciousness. When we see that Supreme Consciousness in everyone, and everyone in that Supreme Consciousness, we hate no one and we are infatuated by no one; hence, there is no emotional pain or suffering. Our love is pure because it flows from the depth of our being. In that Love, there is no wanting, no possessing, no fear (anxiety), and no grudge or grieving.
When two mature people, who share this soul-understanding, are joined together in marriage, that marriage will not be just a mirage. Challenges will always be there (there is no perfect marriage), but those souls who are matured in the wisdom of Consciousness will be well-equipped to meet those challenges. Whereas, those who have not built up an arsenal of wisdom and commonsense, will only be shooting in the dark (in Ignorance), and may even end up destroying each other.
So, a word of advice to the wise: wait until you are married before engaging in sex. And if you are already having sex, then rethink what you are doing and consider carefully the consequences of your actions. Yesterday is gone, but tomorrow is the outcome of what you do today. You can change your lifestyle if you change your mind and back it up with your actions. OM